2010

2010 was a tough year, and I am glad it is over. My Dad passed away unexpectedly on Thanksgiving Day which makes whatever else happened seem light years away and insignificant. Below is the eulogy I prepared for his funeral mass:

It’s hard to describe Dad in just a few moments because to really understand my father, you’d have to look at how he lived his life throughout all of the small moments, the sum of which was very impactful. Jenny’s memories demonstrate how much he loved his family and how he was very active in the community. My Dad was a good man with a big heart. In addition to his acts of service, I discovered over the past few days that he had financially supported several charities every month. He had a lot of empathy for disadvantaged people.

Dad himself was no stranger to hardship, but whatever challenges arose, he met them with perseverance and good humor. I entered his life at a challenging time….it was during the last big recession in the early 80s, he had lost his job, already had five kids, a house to maintain, and he was actually burying his mother the week I was born. My childhood intersected a very unsettling period in my Dad’s life. But despite whatever pressures he felt, he still took the time to be silly with me.

One of my fondest memories of my father was how, when my mom was ill, he took me to work with him. He sang “You are My Sunshine” to me as he put my shoes on in the morning followed by a piggy-back ride down the stairs complete with a gallop and horse noises. He was always whistling or singing a tune. Dad also had a very strong work ethic and as I got older, he was determined not to let me sleep in on Saturdays. He would come into my room, flick the light on and off and say, “Up and at ‘em.” I would then spend the day passing him tools while he worked on a car, an appliance, plumbing….whatever needed fixing.

Using my childhood training as Dad’s tool-passer, I decided to rip up my kitchen floor and lay tile over Thanksgiving. I called to ask if I could borrow his saw and if he would he bring it to Thanksgiving dinner. I’m so glad we talked because the last thing he said to me was that he was proud of me for taking on such a big project. Dad was proud of all his children, and we all know it. I never dreamed that would be our last conversation.

Dad’s passing was a big shock, but it gives us comfort to know that he spent his last evening just how he had spent so many evenings before, enjoying time with his family. He was having fun with his sister Joan and brother-in-law, Al who were here for Thanksgiving. He and my mom, his wife of 47 years and the love of his life, shared a good night kiss. He laid down next to her and went to sleep looking forward to a big Thanksgiving meal surrounded by the people he loved so much.

So many people have shared so many lovely memories of my father in the past few days, and we will all carry them with us forever. Helen Keller said, “What we have once enjoyed, we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” I am so honored that my Dad has been and will always be a part of me.